Destroyed
by muggleborn.dragon.ryder
Summary: Sometimes, when you think somebody destroyed everything, it turns out there really was nothing left to destroy...you were clinging onto nothing all this time...
1. Destroyed

_**Destroyed**_

* * *

**A/N: The good people who have been reading my chapter stories know that my computer's been giving me some difficulties, so I'm posting this from a borrowed computer. This will most likely become a collection of poems, because I feel the relationship between Hiccup and Stoick desperately needs expounding upon. The scenes between them, they're either so awkward to the point of making you feel awkward, or they're emotional enough to drive people to tears. I feel a bit like in the 'you're not my son' scene, Stoick said and did something unforgivable - and yet, Hiccup didn't exactly try his hardest to fix their relationship either, did he? We mustn't let Stoick carry the blame! Which is why Hiccup says 'there was nothing to destroy'. Because there was literally nothing left of them, only the bits and pieces Stoick insisted on clinging on to during the 'See You Tomorrow' sequence. **

* * *

GONE,

DEAD,

_Nothing can bring us back. _

_BECAUSE, DAMMIT,_

_YOU JUST DESTROYED EVERYTHING._

And the funny thing is,

You know the really funny thing is,

_There was nothing to destroy._

"You're not my son",

"You're not my son",

"You're not my son",

"You're not my son".

Nope,

Nothing,

You didn't hurt anything,

Because there was nothing left.

Nope,

There was nothing left of us,

_Nothing at all._

Honestly,

It's

Kind of a relief,

That I don't have to,

hide

Or pretend

That we are okay,

Because I think only you,

Insisted to _clinging on._

_To nothing at all._

Everybody else _saw it,_

But they let you,

Have your little fantasies

_And now I've destroyed them, _

_(But then, at least they existed, _

_Unlike us)_

_(Unlike what,_

_You could've said,_

_You are angry,_

_You are furious,_

_You are acting_

_In the heat of the moment._

At least, I want to _believe that,_

Because believing that you didn't think your words through, _so carefully,_

And _imagine how badly they would hurt me,_

Is easier than _knowing,_

THAT YOU MEANT IT,

DAMMIT, _YOU MEANT IT._


	2. Pressure

_**Chapter 2: Pressure**_

**Um...well...er, hi there! :D So, this is my newest poem! This is set right during those few seconds when Hiccup climbed on Toothless and Stoick grabbed his arm, right before the battle with the Green Death. Hiccup somehow managed to have all these thoughts in those seconds, cuz he's amazing like that :P **

**Also, one of my reviewers (she knows who she is) asked me if they could use a plot bunny from one of my other stories ('Uncle Gobber') and, since that story's finished, I shall answer her here by telling her, yes, of course :D I would love to see what you do with it, RazPaz! :D And yeah, that's my new nickname for you. **

* * *

I thought,

We could not fix this,

_(And surely, you don't blame me,_

_For thinking this?)_

I scramble away from you,

I cannot,

Meet your gaze,

With fumbling fingers, I

Buckle myself in.

Because it will be,

A long flight,

There's a _long flight ahead._

As you grab me by the arm,

There's a _tightness in my chest,_

When I look at you,

Maybe because I'm _expecting,_

_Something so much worse,_

_Than what you said last time,_

_Though really, what could be worse than that?_

"_This changes nothing," you might say,_

_Though really, everything's changed between us,_

_And you can try,_

_Your hardest_

_But nothing will ever be the same again _

_I'm a world away from who I was_

_And so are you._

_We are not family,_

Anymore.

That's what I'm so afraid,

That's why everything in me is,

Shaking,

At the idea of,

_Speaking,_

_Talking,_

_Looking,_

_Seeing,_

_Hearing,_

_Loving,_

You.

The tightness in my chest,

The _pressure,_

_Increases._

I take a quick,

_Breath._

And,

_Prepare myself,_

For the

_horror,_

That is sure to come.

You stand there,

Dripping

Wet

And

Determined,

To say something,

Maybe your intention is

To

Make Things Right

But somehow,

That

Never Was Your Intention

My worst fear,

Overwhelms me,

Because my worst fear,

Right now,

Is what,

_Are you going to say? _


	3. Something to Talk About

_**Chapter 3: Something to Talk About **_

**Um...here...here is chapter 3...I really like it, because it focuses more on Stoick...I found Stoick a very sad character. He was very happy and jolly and all in the books, but for some reason, in the movie, he had this constantly sad look on his face, and I feel it should have been talked about. I mean, at the end when he disowns Hiccup, the lines run deeper than they ever have. But when they talk about it just before the battle with the Green Death, you realize the lines are sort of...goneish.**

**Also, OMG! One of my reviewers asked me if I had any authors that were as good as I am, and I can assure you guys, there are people out there that are WAY BETTER. Like, seriously. But you made me smile :) I just can't believe some of you think I'm a better author than most people on here. There are some fics I can't read that I love, but I can't read them because they depress me and I ask myself why I can't write the way they can write.**

**But there is Lyrical Medley, and she/he writes Hiccup/Stoick father/son a lot. Seriously. It's very feelsy and I love it. **

* * *

Your pride is,

_So evident in me._

It's the first time

In a _really long time,_

I've seen you smile,

I've seen you _laugh._

And to think,

That I'm the _cause_,

Of your happiness,

_It rocks my world._

I know

_I've got to tell you sometime,_

But you look happy, Dad,

You look _happy._

And there was always something keeping you

_Back._

You had lines around your eyes,

Circles underneath.

They're still there,

But invisible,

Making me believe,

You were just _waiting on me._

For the first time,

In a really long time,

_You looked happy tonight._

And I know I'm _lying,_

I know _I've got to tell the truth,_

I know I'm a _fraud, _

_A fake,_

_A liar,_

But I can't bring The words

_Past my lips._

With every exhalation,

_I try to tell you the truth,_

And, with every inhalation,

_I change my mind again._

Because,

_As you so rightly said,_

We finally have something to talk about.

And

_While that is true,_

I want it

To keep being true,

I want you

_To stay._

I don't want you to leave,

I don't want to _let the darkness fall,_

Because another night is closer,

To another day

That might bring the truth _crashing down upon me._

It's hanging _over my head,_

Definitely something to talk about,

But _somehow, I don't think,_

You'll look _quite that proud,_

I think I'll see more circles,

_Hidden,_ underneath your eyes,

And know_ I've caused them to return._

I'll see a few lines,

On your face from where,

You've sighed too much and laughed too little.


	4. Ignorance

**_Chapter 4: Ignorance_**

**Hey. My new novel stinks, so I've retreated into fanfiction. This is my newest poem for Hiccup and Stoick. Enjoy. Reviews appreciated, not demanded.**

* * *

I can't see you,

I can't hear you,

I'm calling out to you,

Through the _mist._

I tried to call to you,

But you,

_Ignored _me,

Every time,

I tried.

Or maybe

_I ignored you,_

Or maybe,

We both,

Ignored

_Each other_

Maybe

We were both

So convinced That what we had to say

Was _more important,_

Than what the other did,

That our _interruptions,_

And our _ignorance,_

Has _added up to this._

And

Although we

Tried to fix things

They somehow wound up,

Broken,

Twisted,

MANGLED.

Everything about us is

Gone

Dead

_Destroyed_

Lifeless

Hopeless

Worthless

Useless

Nonexistent

Awkward

Disappointed Broken Lost

Scattered

Shattered

Despairing

Drooping

Dying

Leaving

Lying

Trying

_Failing._


	5. Questions

_**Chapter 5: Questions**_

**Sorry about the long wait! I've been updating my other Hiccup/Stoick fanfiction *coughs* To Be Loved the Way You Love Me *coughs* xD that one portrays them a lot better xD I know it only takes a couple minutes to scrawl something like this down, but I just had no inspiration :P **

* * *

It's such a foreign feeling,

This look _you are giving me._

You look happy,

You look proud.

Like I've done something that you've been_ waiting for._

I swallow and I look at you,

_Drinking in the sight,_

Because _you're smiling,_

And _you look proud._

You're _looking at me,_

But you're _not yelling at me._

And I'm looking at you,

But I'm not,

_Disappointing_ you.

Is this _feeling that I have_…

Is it supposed to be there?

Should _I feel happy that,_

_Everything that's happened_ did?

Should I _regret it_?

Or should I not?

Should I be glad?

That everything happened?

Because,

I think,

That

Just _a little, we are beginning_

To _understand._

I think

_I'm understanding you._

I think _you're understanding me._

I think it's happening,

I _think I see_

_Affection in your eyes._

I have _craved_

This _affection_

For _so many years,_

And if,

I were to reach out,

And _ask for it_ Would you give it to me?

Would I have to wait,

_A little longer,_

To get it?

Or _would you hand it to me now,_

So readily?

I can tell from your _happy gaze,_

That _you're proud._

But_…_

_Was it always like this?_

Were you always _offering me this?_

_Was I the stupid one_?

_Was I just,_

_Too scared,_

_To take it?_

Was it me?

Tell me, Dad,

_Was it me?_

Or _was it you?_

_Was it you_

Or _was it me?_

And tell me a question,

I haven't asked,

For a really long time,

Because I always _blindly assumed,_

That _the answer was yes._

But now I'm beginning,

To _rethink a little_

And I'm starting to _wonder_,

And I'm getting _brave enough to ask it again._

Because

Every time, I ask,

"_Was it you or was it me?_"

I ask myself

Another question,

_What if it was both?_


End file.
